Kelly KleinSomeone once told me several years ago that I’m not shy. Say what? I’ve been shy ever since I can remember. I was always afraid of people. I was always unable to do things normal people could. He said that I was pretending to be shy. Say what? Isn’t someone aware when they’re pretending to do something?
I did some pondering over the years since that conversation with a man wise beyond his years, and I realized there’s some truth to what he said. Isn’t it funny that sometimes it takes a complete stranger to gain perspective on your own life?
When I was a young child, I was told so many times that I was shy that I started to believe it. And because I believed it, I acted that way. I gave my brain many reasons why I am shy. After a while it became a habit that, as an adult, I found it hard to break.
I know it’s a habit and not my real personality because there have been times when I broke free…if only for a moment.
One example was the time I went to a concert. I had a great time listening to my favourite music, rock. At the end of the night, the band offered to stay as long as needed to meet and greet everyone who was interested. I bought a T-shirt and realized the band was standing just beyond the souvenir stand. I took a deep breath and walked up to the long table. One by one, I told the band members they put on a great show and they signed my shirt. The last one in the line was the lead singer.
I said to myself, “It’s now or never.”
I took a deep breath and said, “You were great!”
“Thank you,” he replied with a smile that melted me.
“Can I also have a photo with you?”
And there it was. I, without even thinking, conquered a fear that night.
The lesson I learned was twofold: 1) I am capable of doing things, even if before I believed I couldn’t, and 2) I will not allow fear to control me and stop me from doing what I want to do.
I know I can do anything…as long as I don’t come up with excuses…as long as I don’t have someone to lean on or who shelters me…as long as it’s something I really want to do.
It all comes down to my comfort zone. If you spend too long in that zone, it isn’t so comfortable. It’s more familiar. It’s what we’re used to.
Gosh, if only I came to this realization sooner…perhaps my life would be drastically different. Maybe that’s what life is all about: You have to go through things that help you learn and grow before you’re ready for the ultimate challenge. This may not make sense until later, after a series of events.
I still regress back to my shyness when faced with new situations, but I find it happens less and less. I just remember that it’s a habit and, with all habits, it takes time to change it. I’ve always been a late bloomer, and I’ve had people try to convince me there was something wrong with me, but finally I got tired of looking at the woman in the mirror and decided to make that change. I can be outgoing when I need to be. If I know someone even a little, or if someone starts a conversation with me, I can open right up.
“I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways
And no message could have been any clearer
If you want to make the world a better place
Just look at yourself and make the change”
~Michael Jackson
What habits are you trying to change or start? Are you battling shyness? Tell me your story!
May your life be passionate!
