Growth

We all change over time in one way or another. There is no staying the same. You either move forward or move backward. You can’t stagnate. Stagnation is really letting yourself go with the flow. You have to work at becoming better. If you don’t work at it, you will automatically go backwards. It’s just the way it works.

I’ve seen so many older people just seem to…give up. They basically died young but waited years – decades – to be buried. I realized I’m not getting any younger. I have always been a late bloomer, but mostly because I’ve always been so unsure of myself. The time is now, to move forward in a big way and achieve my big dreams. THE TIME IS NOW.

I often say I haven’t changed since high school, but everyone changes, one way or another. The question is which way did I go? Or maybe in some areas I went one way, and in other areas I went the other way. Or is that even possible? If you improve in one area, I think it affects all areas…at least a little. Likewise, the inverse is also true.

Perhaps it is also true that as we go through the ups and downs of life we have times of forward momentum. Then we have setbacks, moving in the wrong direction, and stagnation. This is life.

So how have I changed since that pivotal moment in June of 1997 when I graduated high school?

Should I go to an earlier turning point? When I was born? When I moved from a small town to just outside of the big city when I was 8? When I went through the challenges of growing up in junior and senior high schools?

No. I think adulthood, when I was sent out into the world; I was between childhood and adulthood. I was at an age where I could make my own decisions and live my own life.

I wasn’t ready.

I made wrong decision after wrong decision. It’s possible many of us do the wrong things in our 20s. Perhaps we need to in order to learn, and know better later in life. I have to believe that.

The first thing I can think of is that I learned life is what you make it…not what happens to you OR your circumstances. I always knew that logically, but I didn’t know how to get from one side to the other.

Yet, just that knowledge alone changed the course of my life…even if I stayed in my incubation period for an extended amount of time.

Perhaps you are in your incubation period? For some, it’s longer than others. I didn’t think I made any progress…then I realized that the incubation period is when all the internal changes happen.

Looking back over the years, before the changes in my life were visible to others, something was slowly happening within me.

And then suddenly I realized…

My mindset and belief have changed…my dreams are closer than I thought.

I smile and laugh more. My depression isn’t as much a part of me as it once was. I’m a cleaner person – both in hygiene and my home. I’m not a basket case. I am smarter and stronger than I ever thought I was. Life experiences in my young adulthood brought that out.

I am not as shy as I once was. I can ask for what I need or want, but still don’t ask for much.

I have learned a great deal about raising a future adult by learning on the job as a parent. I was scared out of my mind, especially since parenting wasn’t part of my original plan, but I muddled through. I was learning as I go, and now I’m proud of the person my son is and is becoming.

I learned not to accept being treated poorly and to stand up for myself. It was famously said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) That doesn’t excuse poor behaviour, but we can’t control others. We can’t control what they do or what they say. But we can control how we respond to it. We can control what we think, what we said, and what we do.

And that makes all the difference in the world.

It can make all the difference in YOUR world.

If you haven’t gone as far as you would have liked, take a long hard look in your life. Have you been changing behind the scenes? Is this your very own incubation period? Are you building a strong foundation? Are you preparing for something great?

Don’t give up! You will get there as long as you don’t give up. Even if you take longer than others or take longer than you’d like. Time will pass anyway.

Keep in mind, you will make mistakes, you will make the wrong decisions, you will have poor judgement, you will fall flat on your face. That doesn’t make you stupid or incapable. You can fix all those and do things differently.

Anyone can do this.

Everyone has the power to change.

You got this!

Be awesome and may your life be passionate!