Kelly KleinI graduated high school in June of 1997; many moons ago. Actually, 27 years, to be exact. There are people who are graduating this year who haven’t even been born yet when I graduated.
Every 10 years, I wait for notice of a reunion. I thought it was normal for every high school. The 10-year mark passed, then the 20-year. Apparently it’s not a thing for my high school. Or perhaps it is and I just wasn’t invited. I wanted to see the old crew. All my schoolmates. I wanted to take a trip down memory lane.
I thought long and hard about the nature of high school reunions. While I want to show that I’m more than my high school self, do I really want to revisit those years? Years where I didn’t fit in, years where I didn’t do well academically or socially, or years where I was so unsure of myself and didn’t know who I am?
If I could go back to repeat my life, I’d do it in a heartbeat, but I don’t want to be reminded of how far I didn’t come in the last 27 years. I’d rather just come to my senses and make something of myself from here on out.
A small part of me wants to reconnect with people in my past…but we are all different now. We have experiences and growth that changed us. And we’re probably not in the same places in our lives, and not in each other’s lives for a reason.
It might be good to reconnect with people out of the context of school. Maybe I could make friends with people I didn’t have anything in common with back then…or reconnect with old friends to find out we are on the same path or in the same situation.
I guess I like to be a little nostalgic every now and then…but it’s not good to dwell on the past. I have regrets and because I can’t travel in time, there’s nothing I can do to change the past. I can only learn from it, in hopes of not repeating the same mistakes again.
The other thing about reunions is having to see how a lot of people did better than I, without procrastinating and other hang-ups that I had to deal with. People who never had to battle shyness. On the other hand, I’m sure there are people behind me. Maybe some are criminals (I hope not!)…but they probably wouldn’t show up to a reunion. I guess comparison is a dangerous game.
Some may have even died without having realized their potential. That’s the saddest thing of all…because despite where anyone is in their life at any moment, there’s always time to change. There’s never a too late…until your life is over.
Thinking about reunions, I also ask myself: Do I really want to relive the past that I did so poorly on but can’t repeat? Do I want to be reminded of my shortcomings back then? Do I want memories to come flooding back of failing, being teased, loneliness, unrequited love, and a life wasted?
My memories of my schoolmates of yesteryear are from back then. I remember how we all were back then. Over time we changed, we grew, and we are different people. If I were with the group of people I was with back then, it surely wouldn’t be the same. It’s because we grew apart. We learned to live our lives apart.
We are now in different life stages. Some are single and loving it, others are married. Some are childfree, others have several children. Some are world travellers, others are homebodies. Some are rising in their careers, others are in dead-end jobs.
We had some things in common back in the day, but we may not have the same things in common anymore. Perhaps that’s why they’re not in our life anymore. On the flipside, there are others we had nothing in common with, but have lots in common with today.
The point is, we’re not the same person we were in high school. They aren’t either. There’s no stagnation. We may have moved forward, we may have moved backward. We may have had hopes and dreams that we fulfilled since then, or we may have given up.
When I was in high school, I liked a guy who was a year younger than me. I didn’t stop crushing on him even when I graduated. The interest never had a chance to fizzle out. So he was sometimes in the back of my mind. My first romantic relationship began when I was 26. So I forgot about my crush of the past. Then when that relationship ended 16 years later, the guy from yesteryear crossed my mind again.
I realized that while it would have been nice to see him again, I was in love with the memory of him. He could be in a different place in his life. If we met up for a coffee (providing he remembered me), I probably would be disappointed because he isn’t the same person I remembered.
It was then that I realized it was time to let go.
That’s just how it works. We change, we learn, we grow.
We move on.
So, in conclusion, while it would be nice to be nostalgic for an evening with my old school chums, I don’t need it.
Here are some benefits to high school reunions:
- Talk about old times, be nostalgic
- Think of the memories of yesteryear
- Have some fun
- Catch up with old friends, make new ones
- Rekindle old friendships
- Show that you were successful after all
- Show the bullies you did something with your life
- See the old teachers
- Introduce your spouse to your old friends
And here are some drawbacks to high school reunions:
- Other people were more successful than you
- You weren’t as successful as you wanted to be at this point in your life
- No one is the same as you remember them
- They can be a letdown
- Memories of the bad times surface
- Some people you remember fondly may not remember you at all
So, I think if I’m ever invited to a reunion, I will go. Simply because I would regret it if I didn’t. I love nostalgia, and it’s only for one night. I can endure any of the drawbacks for just one night.
What are your thoughts on high school reunions, or reunions of any kind? Let me know in the comments, and don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter that is jam packed full of information to help you live your best life!
Be awesome and may your life be passionate!
