Lessons Learned from Michael J. Fox – An Inspiration

I first saw Michael J. Fox in his role as Alex P. Keaton on Family Ties. I remember when new episodes came out every week (yes, I just dated myself). I enjoyed his movies as he rose to fame – Back to the Future, Teen Wolf, and even Homeward Bound. I also caught many episodes of Spin City. I remember when he first announced his battle with Parkinson’s disease.

Unfortunately, I lost track of him after that. Recently, for old time’s sake, I watched the Back to the Future trilogy (the third installment being my favourite, but I digress). I remembered the actor I grew up watching; one of my earliest celebrity crushes. I started reading up about him and what he’s up to now. I ordered his four books…and man, after reading about his life in his own words, I have a huge respect for him.

I don’t know if it was meant to be, but I think I needed to learn the lessons that he taught me through his books and the way he lived. I needed it now, rather than last year, or last decade, or even back in the 80s.

I left a bad relationship half a year ago, and didn’t know how to deal with becoming independent and standing on my own two feet. I was in the depths of despair, but I kept pushing on, trying to hide what I was going through.

Something happened. Something inspiring. Something magical. I believe Michael J. Fox had a hand in that.

I want to pass along some of that magic, in hopes that it can also touch you…and help you in your own life.

Here is what I’ve learned from Michael J. Fox:

Gratitude. He is grateful for his life, his family, and his opportunity. Gratitude is the first step to a better life. Despite all the stuff I’ve been going through lately as I regain my footing in the world, I think about what I’m grateful for. It’s hard some days, especially particularly rough days…but I know it’s important for moving forward. If you’re not grateful for what you already have, then why would you deserve more?
Mindset. He always believed in himself. When he left high school, Canada, and the life he knew, he knew somehow he would be successful. He just knew. It can be difficult to change your thinking, but it’s a must if you want to get anywhere in life. Believe you can, or believe you can’t. Either way you’re right. This is, perhaps, the biggest struggle I face.
Believe in yourself. This goes along with mindset but deserves its own point. He always believed in himself and his abilities. Believe you can do it. Believe that despite what you’re going through it’s only a matter of time before it happens to you. Before you gain success in whatever endeavour you are pursuing.
Creativity. He acts, he plays guitar, he writes. He is well accomplished in the creative arts. We could all stand to be a little more creative. This is the field I have always been interested in. I love to write, I am interested in drama, and I can also play a few instruments.
Choices. We all have choices to make. We all have the power to change our direction. I wanted to believe I could, but it wasn’t until now that I know I can. I just have to choose differently every single day. Even the small decisions add up. There are some things we have no power over, but we do have the choice in a lot of things. We can also choose how we react to our circumstances.
Optimism and positivity. Despite having Parkinson’s, he is very positive. He’s always looking up, and spreading hope to others with and without the disease. I strive to be more positive every day. It’s not easy, after living a life of negativity. Living life as an optimist is more fun than as a pessimist, so if you have to live life anyway, why not live it as an optimist?
Go for your dreams. Know what you want and go for it! What do you have to lose? Michael J. Fox knew that he wanted to act…so he went to the city where all the actors go. He knew what he wanted, and he didn’t stop until he got it…and kept on going. He didn’t gain any real success until after a few years in Los Angeles.
Face your fears. I’m not sure he had any real fears like me, or at least not as bad, but he seemed to face his life head on and make it happen, instead of letting anything stop him. That inspires me to just do it, instead of letting fear run my life.
Comfort zone. I would imagine just pursuing the career of acting would be outside of anyone’s comfort zone. Auditions, working hard, convincing people to hire him…. We should all do something outside of our comfort zone every single day. For the longest time my comfort zone was quite a bit smaller than that of most people. Every day I am learning to do something that is uncomfortable. As I do, the zone is gradually growing larger. One thing I learned about the comfort zone is that it isn’t very comfortable at all. It’s more of a familiar zone. We stay there because it’s what’s familiar. Familiar doesn’t give us an extraordinary life. Reach outside that zone and keep growing it. It’ll do wonders for your confidence!
We only can’t if we don’t. Michael J. Fox has said those exact words, and he is so right. If we do it, we may fail, but if we keep doing it, eventually we will succeed. If we don’t do it at all, we automatically can’t. If you do what you are aiming to do, you just may surprise yourself.
Work hard. This has always been a hard one for me. I’ve lived a half-assed life (pardon my language). I never did my best in anything to the point where I didn’t believe I could do my best. I always did a “good enough” job no matter what I did – school work, my writing, my various jobs. When Michael J. Fox acts, he throws himself into his work. He doesn’t just half-ass his way through his role. It shows when we watch the finished product. Someone else almost played Marty McFly in Back to the Future. Now I can’t imagine anyone else in the role. He wasn’t playing Marty, he WAS Marty. Do a job well, and do it completely.
Independence. He always does things on his own, without waiting for someone to tell him what to do…even at a young age, when he learned to live on his own in Los Angeles. I lived a sheltered childhood where if I didn’t want to do something, I could somehow pawn it off to someone else, or I just wouldn’t do it. As an example, I wouldn’t pay for something at a store, and instead get someone else to do it, or walk out empty-handed. My shyness had a little to do with it, but I also found it hard to be independent. I believed I wouldn’t ever be completely independent…which goes back to mindset. We all have the potential for great things, and in order for that to happen, we have to be independent. You can’t always rely on other people.
Reach out for help. However independent we are, we still need to be able to ask for help when we need it. As independent as he is, he has still had moments where he asked for help. We could all use a little assistance from others. We aren’t put on this earth to exist in our own bubbles. We are here to help each other out, and there’s no shame in asking for it. I have a hard time asking for help because, as an adult, I thought I had to figure it all out on my own. Incidentally, we shouldn’t ask for help for little things we know we can do on our own…otherwise you sacrifice your independence.
Work through the pain. Michael J. Fox was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 1990, but the world didn’t know until 1998. During that time, he continued working. To watch his acting during that time, even the sharpest eye wouldn’t have noticed. He hasn’t let his diagnosis stop him, and perhaps that’s what kept him active in the business longer than the doctors thought he would. Working through the pain includes physical, emotional, and mental. We all have stuff we’re dealing with. Instead of letting it stop us – instead of hitting a wall and staying down – we should work through it, because it will get better just by pushing forward.
His six strategies for surviving adversity. 1. Exercise. Exercise could do us all good. It helps with depression, downward spirals, and our level of fitness. A healthy body is a happy body. 2. Pacing. He says pacing helps him think, and I find that to be true. 3. Acceptance. He says acceptance doesn’t mean resignation. I agree. I also say that acceptance is important in order to move forward. If you don’t accept where you are at this point in time, then you can’t move on. 4. Honesty. It’s important to be honest. In his case, he felt better when he was honest about his diagnosis because then people could understand him and what he was going through better. 5. Optimism. He always says that hope is informed optimism. He doesn’t let things get him down. 6. Humour. He approaches life with humour.
Learn from your mistakes. After his diagnosis, he slipped into depression and alcohol. Eventually he picked himself up and learned not to go in that direction. He became the complete opposite; the incurable optimist we know him as today.
Don’t run or hide from your problems. After his time in depression, he realized he couldn’t hide from his problems. I’m sure he had more than just Parkinson’s as a problem, but it was definitely the largest and most complicated one he had to face. It eventually affected his acting; his purpose. He could have laid down his arms and retired. He could have hidden from the public and lived out the rest of his days in obscurity. He didn’t. He still acted, and even won several awards, nominated for countless more.
Pushing forward no matter the obstacle. This goes with the last one, but takes it a little further. His obstacles are honestly probably greater than mine, but yet he still pushes through. I think of Michael J. Fox when I face my own obstacles. I know he would get through it somehow. If he can get through these enormous problems and still have optimism, then I can get through my dinky little obstacles.
Acceptance. He accepts the hand he has been dealt, but doesn’t let it stop him. He accepts there are things he can’t change. So he focuses on the things he can control. Why worry about what we can’t control? We all have circumstances that happen to us. That can’t be changed. However, we can choose how to react to these circumstances. Michael J. Fox has said, “Optimism is sustainable when you keep coming back to gratitude, and what follows from that is acceptance. Accepting that this thing has happened, and you accept it for what it is. It doesn’t mean that you can’t endeavor to change. It doesn’t mean you have to accept it as a punishment or a penance, but just put it in its proper place. Then see how much the rest of your life you have to thrive in, and then you can move on.” Wise words, Mr. Fox.
Give to others and help others. This is perhaps what he is best known for today. Shortly after he disclosed his diagnoses to the world, he started the Michael J. Fox Foundation. His foundation raised millions for Parkinson’s research. I haven’t helped people to the degree that he is. I hope to change that, but I keep forgetting that the smallest act of kindness is something. We should all do something for someone else.
Don’t waste this life we’ve been given. He could sit in his home for the rest of his life, but despite his diagnosis, he is living life to the fullest. He isn’t wasting the time he’s been given, and we shouldn’t either.
Love completely. The most important thing to him is his family. He loves them completely and unconditionally.

I want to say that learning these lessons, my life turned right around and I never looked back. I want to say that it was smooth sailing after the epiphany I experienced while watching Back to the Future and learning more about Michael J. Fox, his struggles, and his triumphs. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

You learn lessons, and it’s up to you to put them into practice. It took a few months to even put into words the magic I experienced. It sounds hokey, but there’s no other way to describe it.

Changing my behaviour, my actions, my emotions overnight wasn’t possible. Yet something started to change within me. I know that if I embody the lessons I’ve learned from Michael J. Fox, then one day I can live a life I am proud of. I only wish I were younger, but that’s something I can’t change.

Albert Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” It’s time for me to change what I’m doing. Will you make some changes too?

Sometimes I find myself wondering what Michael J. Fox would do if he were in this situation or facing that obstacle.

What I can do, and what you can do too, is move forward from here. Today is a new day. We have the power to change. I hope you take these tips and live your best life. I plan to do the same!

If you want to read more on Michael J. Fox’s incredible story, check out his books: