Kelly KleinThis can be a special time of year for some, or a heartbreaking time for others. Many people like to gather with their family and friends, celebrating the season.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there who don’t have that. It may be the first Christmas without their spouse. That is a loneliness unlike any other.
Some people may not have a lot of people in their life. They go to work, collect a paycheque, then go home to a house full of cats.
Still others may not even have a home to go to.
It breaks my heart to know of the hardships that befall members of our society. As hard as my life has been, I’ve always had family to visit around the holidays and a roof over my head. I never worried about where my next meal was going to come from.
Even if you have nothing, there can still be love in your life. I’m talking about self-love. It’s not selfish, or arrogant, to love yourself. They say that if you don’t love yourself, no one can truly love you.
I disagree with that statement. I had a hard time loving myself most of my life. I still managed to enter into a relationship with a man who genuinely loves me. It’s not easy because I wonder why he would choose me when I am who I am.
I hope that if you don’t have a spouse, children, extended family, friends, pets, etc…that you at least foster a love for yourself. If that’s too difficult for you, then love the unlovable. Care for others who have no one in their lives. Deliver gifts to the local senior citizen’s home, or visit inmates. Read to children in the hospital, or play piano in the cancer ward. Crack a joke and make someone smile. Treat everyone with love and respect. In doing so, I guarantee you will feel better about yourself and your situation. There’s a ripple effect when making others happy.
I think the biggest thing anyone can do for another human being is to be there for them…especially when they’re lonely. Not everyone wants people around, but most of us do. We all long for human connection. Listen to the stories of an octogenarian told of days long past. Listen to someone talk about what they’re going through. Listen with empathy and without judgement. Just be there for them.
Don’t take the love you have in your life for granted, because one day it may disappear. And there are plenty of people who would give anything to have what you have. Try to spend time with them during other parts of the year, not just around Christmas. Keep in touch via phone calls or social media.
And when you go to large gatherings and you see one person sitting off alone by themselves, go over and talk to them. Maybe they want to engage but are unsure of themselves. Maybe they think no one is interested in talking to them and learning about what’s going on in their life. I was that person year after year, listening to the conversations around me, finding it hard to be a part of them. I wanted so much for someone to just ask me what was happening in my life. Maybe not a lot was going on for me, but I heard everyone interested in updates from everyone else, and it made gatherings feel lonely.
I vow to be better at gatherings, and seek out the less popular people, and help them feel included. It’s hard for me, being an introvert and shy, but I didn’t like being overlooked, and I’d hate for someone else to feel that way.
And hey, maybe that’s a way to stop being so darn shy…stop thinking about myself and my insecurities, and start helping others and being there for them. Maybe people will like me more, and more importantly…maybe I will like myself.
Spread the love this holiday season!
Be awesome and may your life be passionate!
