My Adventures in Solitude

Did you know there’s an art to solitude?

There’s an art to solitude? you may ask. But I don’t even like being alone!

Are those thoughts running through your mind? Well, I’m here to tell you that not only do you need solitude, it can actually be enjoyable too!

Every summer I go to the beach on a nice day and spend five or more hours alone. There’s something about relaxing by the ocean’s shore, listening to the waves roll in…gazing out over the horizon. The hours are important to me. During this time I gain perspective on my life, set goals, and, of course, write until my left hand wants to fall off!

I had such a good time, and moved forward more than I ever had, so I want to share some ideas about taking your own solitude. Sometimes you need to go slow in order to go fast. Perhaps taking a step back will help you to finally be able to move into a bright new future.

In this article, I will help you make the most out of your own solitude.

1. Start by coming up with a list of goals for your time. I recommend no more than three unless you have a whole day (or longer). Some ideas: quiet meditation, goal setting, a writing project, reflection, problem solving, just taking a break, self-growth…the possibilities are endless!

2. Decide how much time you can take: One hour, a few hours, a day, a weekend, a week, even a month-long sabbatical. The amount of time may affect what you can accomplish. Also, keep in mind, the longer the time, the more planning is involved. If taking off a month, be sure that you have money set aside so you can afford to not work for that month, or if you have a business, be sure it will still make money for you while you’re gone.

3. Decide where, what you’ll need, and general planning. I recommend not having your solitude at home, where you’re likely to be distracted by other things to do. Take note of any safety measures you need to take:

• If you plan on having a small bonfire, know general fire safety rules and follow them.
• Take a cell phone – only to be used for emergencies. Checking social media is not an emergency.
• Tell someone where you’re going and when you’re expected to be back.
• If you’re going into the woods, take a compass or use your phone’s GPS.

4. Go to your location at the time of your solitude. Walk around the area. Settle in. Try not to get distracted as you embark on the goals you set for your time.

5. Take breaks every hour or two if you’re there for a longer period of time. Stretch, walk around, look at the scenery. Breaks help you to come back to your work with a fresh mind. Sometimes I’m working hard on a project and I start to stare at my laptop screen. My mind goes blank and I hit a wall. That’s how I know it’s time for a break. Take hints from your body. If you need a short nap (only for longer periods of solitude), set a gentle alarm. I like to nap for twenty minutes, setting an easy listening song as my alarm (I really despise waking up to beeps and generic ringtones that are on all cell phones).

6. Turn off and tune out. You may have your laptop with you, but that doesn’t mean you should go on the Internet and surf social media or do searches on random topics. Don’t answer the phone. If it’s a true emergency, they will call back right away, I promise you. You could tell people you plan on having some solitude and that you won’t be answering calls. You could tell them to text you if they really need you.

7. Leaving. Don’t be upset if you didn’t get everything accomplished. Just know that you are further along because you did SOMETHING. That puts you further ahead than most people. This puts you in a better position to accomplish your goals. That’s something to celebrate! End your time with a treat, whether it’s a stop at the ice cream parlour for your favourite flavour on the way home, or a fancy coffee.

8. Remembering. It’s great that you set some goals, worked on a project, or moved forward in some profound way. It may have been the best solitude ever. You get away, you find yourself completely alone with nature, and you have wonderful realizations about your life. Then you go back to reality. You pack up your bag, leave the area, and are faced with the responsibilities of adult life. How are you going to remember to take your goals with you and continue to work on them? Here are some ideas:

• If you made goals, keep the goals list handy where you will see it often.
• Put together a small book with photos, writings, goals, or anything that will help motivate you to continue with it.
• Bring some of your natural surroundings back with you – ocean water, a special rock, leaves or flowers to press, a squirrel (just kidding!) and carry it with you as a reminder or motivator, or keep it on a shelf where you will see it often.
• Write in a journal while in solitude so that you can read it later. Include in this journal entry everything that you learned about yourself, all the goals you set, any sudden realizations you had…anything that will motivate you to continue to move forward even when you don’t have the opportunity for solitude again.
• Start planning when and where you will have your next solitude. I highly recommend you do this at least once a year, if not once every quarter.
• Put together a CD or playlist of music that reminds you of your time in solitude…or better yet, create a playlist of songs that make you feel empowered and listen to it often. I recommend songs like Eye of the Tiger by Survivor, Still I Fly from the Planes 2 movie, Man in Motion by John Parr, or What Are You Waiting For by Nickelback. Songs about moving ahead in life. I have what I call my empowerment playlist and it has about 300 songs on it. Perhaps someday I will post an article with the list, so that the songs that inspire me may inspire you too.
• Discipline yourself to work on your goals every day. Even one small step daily taken will get you to where you want to be. I highly recommend reading The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.

It’s very important to have solitude – to slow down. If you’re always on the go, you will never be able to find out where you’re going. My goal for solitude is usually to review my goals, see where I’m heading, and what changes need to be made.

It is said that an airplane is off course most of the flight. The pilot is constantly making corrections in order to reach the destination. This is what solitude can be for you – a time to change course.

Sometimes you need to go slow in order to go fast. That means stopping and taking stock of where you are, and seeing clearly where you want to go. When you know where you’re going, it’s easier to take steps, and you will get there faster.

Have you had solitude that changed your life? Tell me your story in the comments! If you have any questions, or if I can be of any help in planning your own solitude, let me know in the comments! If you like what you see, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter!

May your life be passionate!