Kelly KleinToday I wanted to reach back into my memory for a funny incident that happened to me in grade ten. I attended a leadership conference in my city, where I was affectionately known as the “Devil Stick Girl”. Devil sticks are a type of juggling sticks that I used to play with in the halls, as sort of a busker (I even got small change and packs of gum!).
The year was 1995. I was at this leadership conference. It was hard to believe that, as a shy student, I was one of the only five students from my high school to attend.
It was a funny story, actually. I had a friend who literally dragged me down to a meeting one lunch hour, telling me I wouldn’t regret it. The student council president told me at the meeting, “If you think you’re shy now, by the end of the weekend, you’ll be one of the most outgoing people you know.” I doubted that, but I was intrigued.
As I walked through the doors of the hosting high school a month later, I had no idea what to expect. I felt so alone. People started cheering about everything and by the end of the day, their voices soared. It was hard not to be excited with all the activities that were going on. We were split into small groups of ten that would be our group for the long May weekend. We became pretty tight knit.
I learned a lot that weekend, but one thing stood out for me that I will never forget. Someone found out I was good with my devil sticks, so they signed me up for the talent show. I thought I’d give it a try, since I was used to performing during lunch hour back at my own school.
I watched the first two acts in the show, which were amazing. It was then I realized I was too shy to go up on stage, even though I’d performed many times before in front of people. So I didn’t go up when I heard my name.
I thought people would be disappointed when I couldn’t go up there, but they cheered me on, despite my shyness (they all knew who I was by then).
I never did go up on that stage. After the show, I sadly left the cafetorium (cafeteria + auditorium) and headed into the hallway. I couldn’t believe how unbelievably scared I was. I felt like a young child. Tears threatened to escape my eyes. I blinked them away, not wanting others to see my pain. I did what I always did when I was upset. I started to fool around with my devil sticks. No one was around, and it was a great way to get my mind off the talent show (ironically).
Before I knew it, twenty-five or more people had gathered around me, cheering me on. The feeling I felt was immense. The spirit of the conference was alive! My shyness disappeared. They cheered me on even when I tossed the stick in the air and it almost landed on someone’s head!
That experience helped me considerably with my bashfulness. For the rest of the weekend, everyone said hello to me and offered hugs. They said they understood and that they were glad I was there. I felt so wanted. It was one of the only places I felt I belonged.
I learned something from this experience. I regret not performing in the talent show, but I realize I wouldn’t have learned as much if I did. I realized that I can push through my fears and let go of my shyness.
I learned:
- that I regret more of what I don’t do, than what I do; so while I regret not performing in the talent show, I don’t regret performing afterwards in the hallway
- that people do like me if I only give them a chance
- that I can do whatever I put my mind to
- that I’m not as shy as I think I am
- that if I can push through, anyone can
- everything you go through shows you how strong you are
All those lessons can be applied to anything in life.
So I hope you enjoyed my nostalgia. I never did become the most outgoing person I know. But perhaps it was because I wasn’t ready to learn the lessons in a practical way. I wasn’t ready to apply the lessons in my everyday life. I started to, but then my shyness took over again. Now, as I reflect back on my life, I am wishing I did this sooner. Better late than never.
May your life be passionate!
