Kelly KleinWhen I was a kid, I couldn’t picture myself as an adult, yet here I am, in my 40s.
Last year on my birthday (March 11), a worldwide pandemic was declared. Lucky me. Yet so much has happened since then.
Side note, every year something happens on my birthday, it seems. One year I had dental surgery, another year I had abdominal surgery. Yet another I was sick as a dog, which I later discovered was morning sickness. Will I ever catch a break?
But I digress.
As I sit here reflecting on the past year, I remember the tough times of lockdown…the loneliness of isolation…the heartbreak of tragedy. I also remember the laughs and Stay the Blazes Home, which accidentally became our mantra. I remember the press briefings I attended faithfully, and still continue to do so. I remember gaining huge respect for our premier and chief medical officer…and watched as a new premier was elected (I still can’t believe it is someone I knew from my childhood).
As the restrictions eased, I was able to see a chunk of my family and tour various parts of our beautiful province. I visited beaches, cliffs, lighthouses, and saw a whale slap his fin on the waters of the Bay of Fundy.
I was able to put together Christmas gifts and personalized cards for family and friends (I still have a couple to deliver).
Very recently I was able to purchase and start my very own website – Passionate Quill – proving all my naysayers wrong. I CAN get my writing out there! I CAN achieve my dream! I WILL get there! This will be the basis of my author business.
I learned to conquer my depression once and for all, and I am (hopefully) more pleasant to be around.
I am helping more people without using shyness as an excuse. I’m realizing more and more each day that I am normal, when for so long I felt too different.
I am finally taking steps to get where I want in life.
We are even starting to look for a bigger place! (and acres for eventual horses? I’d love to have a ranch!).
My romantic relationship has improved, and our son is growing as a person.
I no longer care what people think about me – you can’t imagine how unbelievably freeing that is!
So, whatever happens on my birthday, I want to keep a positive attitude, encourage others, and really live this life I’ve been given.
Good things happen, bad things happen. That’s life. It’s up to you to make the most of it. Everyone had the ability to shape your life. Your circumstances don’t define you. Other people don’t define you. Society doesn’t define you.
Would I have come to any of these conclusions in my 20s? Probably not. Do I wish I did? Of course. My 60-year-old me will thank me for learning in my 40s. There’s a reason I didn’t earlier, and that’s because I needed to have an incubation period. A period of time where I was growing inside gradually, that I didn’t even notice.
They say the best time to plant an oak tree is 20 years ago. The second best time to plant an oak tree is today. I say the second best time is 19 years ago, but that’s just me – HA!
I don’t want attention. I’m not saying, “Oh look at me!” I want to help others. Before I can do that, I need to help myself. If you’ve ever flown on a commercial flight (I miss travel!), you’re familiar with the pre-flight safety speech. In it, they say if the air pressure in the cabin drops, oxygen masks will automatically drop. Before you help another person, you’re advised to put your own on…because you’re no help to anyone if you can’t breathe yourself.
I am finally in the position to help…small at first, with my writing, then eventually do even more.
So, I’ve come a long way. I know people in my past probably have preconceived notions of who I am…but I’m here to say I’m not the same little girl I once was. It’s hard to believe, but I have changed.
If I can, after all the obstacles, bullies, emotions, and depression, then anyone can. Including you, no matter how old or young you are.
In conclusion, I feel like I’m not where I wanted to be (yet)…but at the same time, I didn’t expect to be here. That’s the way life is, I guess.
I’m spending my birthday relaxing, excited to be alive. Thank you for reading my ramblings.
May your life be passionate!
P.S. The photo is of the cliffs at the Cape St. Mary’s lighthouse, overlooking the St. Mary’s Bay. The photo doesn’t do it justice. Water surrounds this point in all directions, and the ocean stretches for kilometres. This is one of my favourite places to visit.
