Kelly KleinThis blog post is going to be personal. Fasten your seatbelts, this is going to be quite the ride, as it has been for me.
It’s been two years. Two years ago my life completely changed its trajectory.
It was two years ago, on August 13, 2022, that I made the difficult decision to leave a toxic relationship once and for all.
I had already left once before, but having no alternative – no income, no way to survive on my own, no help available to me – I went back. And things got worse.
I finally made the decision to leave. I was scared, but I knew I couldn’t live like this forever.
I will not discuss the actual events that led to my departure (wait for my memoir!). All I can say is that, having no money and nowhere to go, I ended up in a women’s shelter in my hometown, an hour from the city.
I was numb. I remember waking up the next day and sitting on the couch in the common room, just staring off into space. What do I do now? They gave me a journal to write in, and all I could do was fill the pages with my raw thoughts. My whole world changed overnight. I no longer had my home, most of my possessions, or the life and security I have known.
My whole world was turned upside down, through no direct fault of my own. I can’t describe the thoughts and feelings. No one will ever truly understand what I was going through.
It’s like living your life as normal, then having the rug pulled out from under you. You don’t know what to do. I was disoriented – didn’t know where I was, what I was going to do, how I was going to move on from this.
This was the single hardest thing I’ve ever been through. This was the true test of my strength…of which I thought I had none.
I spent that first day mostly reflecting and napping. I was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained.
The next day, the workers encouraged me to continue resting and detoxing from my old life, but I immediately came back to life and started looking for a job. That was the first thing on my to-do list. So happened I was able to get an interview within a few days. I was nervous, having not held a job in the previous 12 years. I managed to get hired on the spot. I thought I finally got a job based on my merit instead of knowing someone, but now I think maybe they were just desperate. We had half as many staff then as we do now. Incidentally, there are only four sales associates ahead of me in seniority, after only two years. I almost turned down the job offer, but I’m glad I went through with it, for all the things I learned, and meeting someone very special.
I spent five months in the shelter, battling every obstacle known to man. I couldn’t find an affordable place to live so I could have my son with me. He was living with my sister for some stability while I tried to get back on my feet. I will be forever grateful to her for what she’s done for him. I had some family try to tell me what to do while not knowing the whole situation, and I had some family support me in my own decision-making. I kept up a blog to tell people my story, having difficulty attracting people to my newsletter. I faced confidence issues. I had doors slam in my face when seeking help from legal aid. Despite not affording a lawyer, I made too much for them to help me.
I had some good things happen though. I was promoted to key holder within four months. Unfortunately, the stresses of life caused me to make a few stupid mistakes and my promotion was taken away from me…causing my confidence to go down. I met the love of my life at the airport, and although we’ve had our ups and downs (what relationship doesn’t?), we are still going strong. I found a place to live, and my new landlady put together a care package of various toiletries for me.
I have since moved on from that basement apartment after six months, to move in a two-bedroom apartment, so that finally I could have my son live with me again. I saw him regularly while he was with my sister, but it wasn’t the same.
So the last two years have been a roller coaster ride. Lots of ups and downs.
I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was. It takes adversity to bring out the strength we all have inside us.
And now, I am doing a few things to move forward with my life. I have decided not to pursue promotions at my job, in favour of doing what I truly want, and being more present for my son and my boyfriend. Key holder or supervisor doesn’t line up with my future plans, and I just can’t work the evenings that would be required. I have a few manuscripts to fine-tune before publishing, I clean houses on the side, I proofread other people’s writing. My biggest goal is to help people using my journey as an example – things I’ve learned along the way. All my writing is based on this, even my romance-action fiction.
If I help one person with my story, then it is worth it.
Thank you for reading about my last two years. It has been a journey…but somehow, I feel the real journey is just beginning.
Be awesome and may your life be passionate!
