When Someone Doesn’t Support Your Dreams

Have you ever had a dream? Have you ever had a burning desire? Have you ever taken this desire to a friend or family member and they reacted in a less-than-supportive way? Maybe they told you it couldn’t work…or worse, told you it couldn’t work for you because of the way you are. Maybe they came up with all the reasons why you can’t have your dream. Disheartening, isn’t it?

This article is going to discuss why someone may not support your dreams, how to deal with unsupportive people, and how to move ahead without their support.

Reasons Someone May Not Support Your Dreams

1. They haven’t achieved their dreams. Maybe they don’t believe it’s possible for anyone since they haven’t, for whatever reason, went for their own dreams. Show them it’s possible!
2. You don’t support others. Don’t ignore other people who need you, then expect them to support you. Sometimes you have to take the first step.
3. They don’t want you to get hurt. Going for your dreams seems risky to many people. They are well-meaning, and just want you to live a safe and secure life. This is a sign they care about you.

1. They haven’t achieved their dreams. Maybe they don’t believe it’s possible for anyone since they haven’t, for whatever reason, went for their own dreams. Show them it’s possible!
2. You don’t support others. Don’t ignore other people who need you, then expect them to support you. Sometimes you have to take the first step.
3. They don’t want you to get hurt. Going for your dreams seems risky to many people. They are well-meaning, and just want you to live a safe and secure life. This is a sign they care about you.
4. They don’t know how to support you. Maybe they support, but they show it differently. Perhaps you don’t recognize it.
5. They are jealous. They haven’t done anything to move forward, and wish they could be where they see you going. They could be jealous that you have the vision and could potentially be more successful than them.
6. They’re used to the old you. This isn’t fair. If you try to change, they may expect you to be the same person you always have been. In this case, it may be more difficult to show that you can do it and that you can change.
7. You’re from a low-income family and no one has broken out of that to do more with their lives. They may not think you will be able to because no one else had.
8. You have no credibility. This is probably because you haven’t achieved anything yet. You may have talked about it before but it never amounted to anything. You will have to prove that you can do it.
9. You chose a less traditional path. You aren’t working a 9-5 job like they are, and you don’t have the life they have – steady income, working at a job with a boss, going into debt for the cars and houses.
10. They could be secretly rooting for you, but they don’t outwardly show it. Have you ever considered this? Our support for others isn’t always apparent. Maybe they don’t want to show their support for you for a multitude of reasons: They don’t show emotions often, they’re holding back in case you fail, they don’t want you to know they are in your corner…there could be many reasons!

Dealing with Unsupportive People

1. Talk with them. Help them understand. Explain your dream; cast a vision. Paint the picture for them. Also tell them how you plan to work on your goals. Maybe they would make a great accountability partner.
2. Ask for support. Don’t be too demanding, but perhaps they didn’t realize you need it. Sometimes you have to ask others for what you need.
3. Remember it’s for who it’s for. Don’t go to the well when there’s no water there. You will find your people. It’s OK if you have a family member who doesn’t fall under that category.
4. If you’re taking a non-traditional route, expect them to not understand.
5. Don’t go public. Be discerning about with whom to share your dreams and goals. You don’t need that kind of negative energy around you.
6. Limit your interactions with them…at least until you start achieving your dreams. Depending on who it is, maybe it’s time to cut the person loose. You should find people who can be on your journey with you as an encourager. You are the average of the five people you hang out with most in every area of your life.
7. Have you shown you can do it or are working toward it? You may have to work harder to prove yourself…but don’t do it just for them. Make sure you’re doing it for yourself.
8. If it’s family, maybe you need to prove you can do it after not accomplishing anything in the past. Perhaps you were all talk in the past and they heard it one too many times.
9. Learn how to see others’ support, even if it’s not your ideal. They could be supporting you but you may not recognize it. Instead of ‘liking’ your posts on social media, they could be taking the kids for an afternoon. Support comes in many different ways.
10. Show them how they can achieve their own dreams. Maybe you could hold each other accountable, and work towards your goals together. This is a win/win for all!

How to Move Ahead Without Their Support

1. Do it anyway. Don’t let their lack of support hold you back.
2. Find your tribe; the people who do support you. It takes time, but I promise you they are out there. You can find groups in person or online – they exist for just about anything. Find and hang out with people that support you and are moving towards their own dreams.
3. Believe in yourself. Don’t count on others for validation or to validate you.
4. Know that you aren’t alone. There are many people out there who feel just as you do this very moment. It’s comforting to know that you’re not the only one going through this.
5. Don’t just talk about it; do something. Small steps every day will take you to your destination.
6. Remember that it doesn’t matter if you’re following a traditional path or not. If you look at all the super successful people out there, not one of them follows the traditional path. They all forge their own way. It’s like climbing Mount Everest without a Sherpa to guide you. You make your own path and lay your own ropes.
7. Don’t compare yourself to siblings, friends, or people you think should be at the same level as you are. Comparison is the enemy.
8. Are you actually doing something to work towards your goal? Focus more on yourself and your efforts rather than others. You have to prove that you can do it.
9. Keep going until there’s a finished project to show for all your hard work – you actually did it!
10. And remember, they may support you – you just don’t know it or realize it!

My Story

I love to write – I always have. Unfortunately, it seems like most people don’t like to read these days. I struggled for many years, thinking I had no support in my creative endeavours.

I posted stuff online and shared it, hoping that at least my family would read it because whether they read or not, it’s something I did. I thought they would read it just because of that. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. I always pour my heart and soul into every word I write. It hurt when no one seemed to care that I wrote something.

One person told me that a particular social media platform that I was posting on wasn’t the right place to share things like that. I still didn’t understand, because if someone I know wrote something on a topic I wasn’t interested in, I would still read it…just to support them. I try to support others in any way I can.

I’m not traditional in any area of my life. I’ve never followed the crowd and I was always a loner because of it. I was always just a little too different. I want to be true to me, instead of following what everyone else is doing…when that doesn’t feel right to me. I need to do what is best for me. I need to follow my truth and my passion. I learned not to care about what others think, and stopped relying solely on the support from others.

Only then was I truly able to spread my wings and fly.

Something funny happened as soon as I made that realization. I wasn’t moving through my life with 0 support. I just didn’t recognize it for what it was. I didn’t realize that my family was standing behind me, and hoping I would finally succeed. I stopped ignoring any encouragement and stopped focusing on the negativity.

I admit I was in my incubation period for a long time. I felt like I was just below the surface with my improvements, and that one day soon it would be evident to others.

It takes years to be an overnight success. Maybe it’s because I haven’t shown anyone outwardly that I’m moving towards something. Maybe it’s because I was a homemaker and because of that I couldn’t possibly be working towards something. Perhaps there are people who don’t think I have it in me because it was so long and I should have done SOMETHING by now.

Late bloomers still bloom. I spun my cocoon, and am ready to emerge a beautiful butterfly. The changes I made just below the surface are ready to become evident. The same can happen for you!

Conclusion

Limit your time with dream stealers, or those that don’t support you at all. You don’t have to drop them completely, but until you make it, you could potentially be negatively influenced by their lack of belief in you. You can’t afford to lose that belief because without it you won’t get anywhere.

How do you feel supported? What obstacles have you overcome in seeking support for your ambitions? Let me know in the comments!

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Be awesome and may your life be passionate!