I Reject Your Reality and Substitute My Own

Have you ever felt like you’re living someone else’s dream, rather than your own? Like you’re stuck in a life that doesn’t truly reflect your values, passions, or aspirations? I know I have. For years, I struggled to find my place in the world, trying to fit into societal expectations rather than embracing my authentic self. But everything changed when I stumbled upon a profound phrase that challenged my perspective and set me on a journey of self-discovery.

I reject your reality and substitute my own.

Some of you may remember that line from Mythbusters, a show that proves or disproves popular beliefs we have. At first, I brushed it off as a cute and silly phrase…but then I realized just how profound those words are.

All my life I’ve tried to live up to society’s expectations instead of being my authentic self. In short, I was living someone else’s reality unsuccessfully.

And that made me miserable.

I was told I couldn’t do this or that. I was told my dreams are too big. I was told to stop being a dreamer and get my head out of the clouds.

Words like that hurt, so I tucked my true self away for many years. I pushed her so far down into the dark I forgot she existed.

So I settled for a mediocre, humdrum existence. I settled for the status quo. I had a few jobs, spent time as a homemaker, returned to the workforce, and accepted my fate as a nobody.

There was a spark hidden somewhere inside me that wouldn’t completely go away. I felt like Belle in Beauty and the Beast, who felt there was something more for her than her small-town life. Everyone else accepted it but there was more waiting for her out there.

Slowly, the spark ignited. I had epiphanies. Realizations dawned on me.

I was miserable because I wasn’t being true to myself. I wasn’t working towards dreams that others thought impossible.

I know a lot of people who once had dreams but through circumstance, they pushed them down until they disappeared completely. Some of these people accepted their fate and lived quietly in their day-to-day lives.

Others were intent on telling those around them to grow up and accept their dreams would never come true.

It’s sad, actually. As an introvert, I seem to be a magnet for people to open up to. I sit there and listen to life stories without batting an eye. People are interesting. I hear all too often about the dreams they had in their youth, but someone or something got in the way, and now they’re “grown up” and bitter. Some of them want to convince you to be more realistic. They weren’t able to achieve their dreams, and people told them not to bother, so now they feel it is their job to do the same to others.

Their hearts are in the right place, I think. They don’t want to see people they care about get their hopes and dreams dashed when they don’t achieve them. So they nip it in the bud, so to speak.

Lessons Learned

Here are some lessons I learned related to this that I want to pass onto the reader.

Embrace authenticity. Reflect on your own life and identify areas where you may be living someone else’s reality. Take small steps towards embracing your authentic self.
The danger of negative self-talk. It’s important to be mindful of your inner dialogue and avoid negative self-talk. Reframe your thoughts and focus on positive affirmations.
The power of perseverance. Perseverance helps you overcome obstacles and pursue your dreams. Stay committed to your goals, even when faced with challenges. You will get stronger over time.

Action Steps

Here are some action steps you can take today to embrace your authentic self.

Identify your spark. Reflect on what ignites your passion and creativity. Explore ways to nurture this spark.
Challenge negative influences. Surround yourself with positive influences and challenge negative voices – both the internal and external – that hole you back. This is the hardest thing to conquer, but once you do, you’ll be sitting on top of the world.
Take small steps towards your dreams. Break down your goals into smaller, achievable steps. Celebrate your successes and progress along the way.

My Own Challenges

I am facing a lot of challenges at the moment, with work, navigating a non-toxic relationship for the first time, my writing career/business, my fitness, finances, organization, clutter, and a whole host of other things.

Over the years I have heard people tell me this is the way to do something, or that I should pursue that. I realized over time that I have to live my life for me and what’s right for my situation. I am the one who has to live my life. It’s too short to try to go in another person’s direction.

So I am now dealing with things authentically, the way I should based on my circumstances, the situation, and the person I am now.

And because I let go of the inauthenticity, I’m doing it better.

I think:

What is right for my situation?

Who am I?

What would I do if I wanted to go in a certain direction?

Who do I need to be in order to go in that direction?

Am I already that person and just need to bring it out more? Sometimes I look to others for inspiration – whether someone I know or someone famous who did something great…but it all comes down to my authentic self.

Conclusion

I invite you to share your own story, struggles, and successes in the comments. You will realize that you’re not alone. We’re all in this together, so let’s cheer each other on as we journey through this crazy little thing called life.

Be awesome and may your life be passionate!